I have kind of a personal one from his last week of life (believe me I have lots more funny ones, too, for later!) But this memory is the one I think about the most.
In the month before he died, JP and I had some disagreement or other, partly because I am a busy mom and half listening, and he was on so many meds, he was half communicating (we both took responsibility for it later). As hard as I tried to make sure we had come to peace, Pat would forget our long conversations, and start apologizing all over again, etc.
At the Hospital, on the Monday before he died, I went to visit him.
He had heard about my recent surgery and hospitalization for a dog bite on my hand, which resulted in our dog of 14 years being put down. He was barely able to speak, but I was holding his hand and he kept rubbing his fingers across my very bumpy scars, still fresh. His brow furrowed, and I told him "No, it doesn't hurt at all, I know you heard about Haley (our dog) didn't you?" He nodded, eyes closed, brow furrowed.. and then he took my hand.. and brought it to his mouth to kiss it.
He had an oxygen mask on, so I had to get up and move it, but he kissed my hand all over, and as tears rolled down my face, I heard him say "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" That was it, I lost it.
I kissed his whole face, cradled his head in my arms, and said, "You don't have to be sorry for anything, I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS HAVE AND I ALWAYS WILL".
He whispered "Me too" and kissed my face.
Everyone knows that Pat was a little cantankerous in his last few years, and for whatever reason, I became an easy target of his gripes. I tried hard not to take it personally, and move on- but it was hard for me at times.
This final moment between us is one I will treasure until my last moment.
Thank you Patrick. I know you loved me, and I loved you- we did the best we could being who we are! I miss you. I saved your YMCA sweatshirt and I wear it sometimes, to makes me feel better about not being able to talk to you anymore.
Peace to you, my "Father in Love" as we always called it, my friend.